


Not Dead

by Iamyournexus



Series: Story Prompts [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Hugs, Returning Home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:07:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamyournexus/pseuds/Iamyournexus
Summary: Sherlock returns
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: Story Prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154690
Kudos: 12





	Not Dead

It was 2 years to the day that he jumped off of St. Bart's Hospital.  John knew that today was going to be especially hard because of that reminder.  However, he did what he did every day in order to get through it in one piece. 

Wake up. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Go to work. Repeat. 

And that's exactly what happened. Every. Day.  John was a shell of what he once was. Sherlock had brought light and meaning to his life when he first met him. And now without, he was just as lost as when he first arrived back from war.  He existed. For now two years, he just existed.  Lestrade, Molly, Mike, and even Mycroft all fell by the wayside. The only person he regularly interacted with was with Mrs. Hudson and even with her, he kept at arm's length.  His limp returned not too long after the funeral. John knew that it was all in his head, but couldn't shake it. The pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally was too much.  Oftentimes he thought of joining Sherlock. How easy it would have been, to just end it and be with him once more.  He got close on the first anniversary of the fall. Luckily, Mycroft knew this would be a "danger night" for John so he had agents watch him like a hawk. Good thing too, as one agent burst through the door just as John was about to aim his gun at his head.  John cried that night and cursed Mycroft from the flat, knowing that he could hear him from the bugs in the house.  Mycroft must have informed Mrs. Hudson of this as she came by more and more to check on John. He was both angry and grateful for this.  Today was the second anniversary of the fall. John knew Mycroft would be watching him especially close today.  He spoke to the empty flat to Mycroft as he made his tea and toast this morning, knowing he was listening. 

JW: "I know you think this is a “danger night” Mycroft, and I appreciate your concern. I have no intention of killing myself. It will be hard today, yes, but if anything I'll just get drunk when I get home from the surgery and then go to bed". 

John sighed. 

JW: "I miss him, Mycroft. I miss him so... much" his breath hitching on the last word. 

John poured his tea and spread the last of his raspberry jam on his toast and ate in silence.  From there John continued with his normal routine and went to work.  As the hours passed by slowly with nothing but sniffles and coughs, he mentally prepared for the evening. He would stop by the liquor store on the way home and get a bottle of whiskey.  He made a promise to himself not to drink the whole bottle. He couldn't deal with turning into Harry at this point in his life. He just needed to drink enough to be numb, to no longer feel.  That was the goal every day really. To stop feeling, one way or another.  As 5 pm approached, he bid his goodbyes to the receptionist and the other doctor on call and made his way to the liquor store that was near Baker Street.  To stop temptation, he only bought a small bottle of Jaimeson. 

Clerk: "Celebrating something?" the clerk asked as he rang up John's order.  The clerk was just making small talk, he didn't mean anything by it.  John sighed and just politely smiled. He paid for his purchase and walked out without a word. 

As he neared 221B he noticed a black car in front. 

JW: "Jesus, Mycroft... I told you this morning there was nothing to worry about" he mumbled to himself under his breath.  John's eyes locked on the car and as he approached, the back window slid down.  Sure enough, it was Mycroft and strangely, he had a smile on his face. 

MH: "Good evening Dr. Watson, how are you?" he said, appraising him. 

JW: "You know exactly how I am Mycroft" John sounded suddenly very tired. "I told you this morning, there was nothing to worry about. Look, I got a small bottle and everything" He showed Mycroft his purchase. 

MH: "I'm not worried about YOU, Dr. Watson" Mycroft smiled. 

JW: "Then why...? I don't understand" John looked at him with an arched eyebrow. 

MH: "Do be gentle. I'll be listening" and then the window slip back up and the car pulled away leaving John more confused than ever. 

John took a moment to try to put together everything that just transpired. But he knew from experience that trying to understand what a Holmes did and why was a losing battle.  He got out his keys, turned the handle, and closed the door of 221B behind him. 

MrsH: "John? Is that you?" she called. 

JW: "Oh hey, Mrs. H, how are you? " 

MrsH: "Well, it is a hard day isn't it?" she said leaving her flat and coming over to John. She gave him a hug and he returned it with a small kiss on her cheek.  John looked at her and gave her the best "I'm doing the best I can, considering..." smile. Mrs. Hudson understood completely and gave him a pat on his shoulder. 

JW: "I have tomorrow off... did you want to go visit his..." John trailed off, he couldn't finish the sentence without his voice breaking. 

MrsH: "I would like that" she answered, giving him a small smile. 

JW:" Ok, I’ll come to get you around 10 then yeah?" 

MrsH: "I'll be ready" she answered and went back into her flat. 

John looked at the staircase before him and sighed. Climbing all these stairs with his limp was a lot, he usually ended up panting and in a sweat by the time he reached the flat.  As he climbed, he heard a step or two above him. He stopped immediately. Someone was in his flat. Without thinking, he dropped his cane on the stairway and reached around to his back, and pulled the gun from his waistband. He never left home without it - Sherlock or no Sherlock.  At the ready, he climbed the remaining stairs, gun steady.  The door was closed.  He took a breath and kicked it open, aiming, ready to pull the trigger.  Inside was a tall, far too thin man with curly hair and a long coat.  His eyes flashed between grey, green, and blue all at once. 

SH: "John" the man simply said. 

John lowered his gun and dropped it on the floor and stared at the man in his flat.  He staggered at the voice, leaning against the entrance to the flat.

JW: "You're not... you're not real" John's breath increasing wildly. "I'm hallucinating again" he brought a hand up to his head as he shut his eyes.  The man looked desperate and confused by John's deduction and admission. 

SH: "I'm here John." 

JW: "No, you're dead. I saw you die" He opened his eyes and looked up again expecting the man to vanish. 

SH: "You saw exactly what you needed to see"  John couldn't look away from him, with great effort he lifted himself up to full posture and walked over to the man in his flat, his eyes fixed and purposeful. 

SH: "Not...dead" the man stammered. 

Sherlock stood in front of his former flatmate and waited for the inevitable punch that was soon to be thrown his way. He scrunched up his face and braced for impact.  But no such violence came.  Sherlock peeked open his eyes to see if it was just delayed, but when he looked, he saw John...smiling.  Tears were running down his face and he was smiling. 

SH: "...John?" he asked and he took a step closer.  John closed his eyes, sighed, and then launched himself at the detective. John's arms wrapped around him with such force that it ended up being more of a tackle than a hug.  Losing his balance from the sudden glomp, they both fell to the floor. John made sure that he put his hand around the back of Sherlock's head in case his head would hit the floor.  As they hit the floor, the wind was briefly knocked out of Sherlock, with John landing on top of him. 

SH: "oof...John.. are you ok?" he said between breaths.  John was giggling like an idiot. 

JW: "I'm great, Sherlock" he mumbled into Sherlock's collarbone finally said after he reined in his giggling fit.  Sherlock brought his arms up and embraced John, lifting his head up slightly to speak softly into John's hair. 

SH: "I missed you... every day, I missed you. I'm so sorry".  Sherlock squeezed John into himself, hoping to signify his sincerity in those words. 

JW: "And I, you" John squeezed back. 

They held each other there on the ground for what seemed like hours. Just so relieved to be back with one another. 

JW: "This isn't a dream is it?" John finally spoke, lifting his head to look into Sherlock's eyes. 

SH: "No, this isn't a dream. I am here." Sherlock moved his left hand to cup John's cheek. "I'll never go anywhere without you, ever again" his eyes now soft and glassy with tears.  John leaned into the touch and smiled at his words. He took his hand from his face and pulled Sherlock up so they were both now sitting. 

JW: "Promise?" John was holding both of Sherlock's hands in his. 

SH: "Promise" Sherlock smiled and nodded. 


End file.
